OK Captain Obvious, why don’t we make big ASKS out of ourselves? Wait for it……are you ready?
Because it’s hard! It’s uncomfortable! It’s scary! It’s unknown! We’ll be judged or worse yet we might be criticized….. to our faces.
Need I say more? As painful as a situation may be, it is sometimes easier to stay right where we are rather than do the hard, scary work to break patterns, stand up for ourselves or push ourselves to do more. Or, to admit defeat.
Finding my WHY Made me Stronger
I felt this acutely as my second marriage was deteriorating and staying in it was growing increasingly destructive for me. Not making any of my big ASKS early on had led to a toxic situation of me being used and the marriage failing fast. Yet, I was determined to not be twice divorced. The shame of that kept me in an unhealthy situation for way too long.
It wasn’t until I found a strong enough WHY, that I had the courage to get over the fear of judgement, the fear of being alone again, the fear of the unknown….. and ASK for what I needed to get out of the relationship. I had to ask myself WHY I wanted the changes in our relationship to occur? WHY a second divorce was a better option than what I was living through. And even, WHY the situation had developed to begin with (yep, it’s part of the process).
As I found my biggest WHY, I found the strength to stand up for myself, demand that changes be made and move on with my life. Now, just because I ASKED for changes in the relationship, doesn’t mean that the other person made any changes or even met me halfway. He simply wasn’t willing. So ultimately, I came to the conclusion that to get to my WHY, I had to get out. Once that was clear, the strength to make that difficult change was there to help me.
To make any change in your life, you have to have a big motivator. Because change is hard. Because growing takes breaking through a tough shell, with jagged edges that might cause pain.
The Other Side of Fear
But what happens when you get to the other side? Your WHY is what happens. That wonderful thing that motivated you to take the leap to begin with. Room to stretch, to grow, to run, to climb and to live bigger than you were before. The chance to be seen for who you really are and to hold dear the ones who love you for that person as well as for the one you are becoming. And the confidence in knowing you had the strength to get yourself to your next level.
“The quality of our life depends upon the quality of the questions we ask. If we want something bigger out of life, we have to make bigger demands, a bigger ASK of life. It is the ASK that gets you to the next level” – Derek Rydall
So if there is an ASK that you are feeling is bubbling up inside of you, big or small, take some time to explore your WHY. It just may get you to where you most want to be.
And if you feel like you need support in getting to your WHY and your ASK, message me below! Together we can get you to your next level.