I’m in my 50’s so I can say this.
It’s a tricky decade to be in. It’s a transition decade that can be exciting and scary and tough and liberating all at the same time. Now, all of the things I list below don’t always happen to people in their 50’s but considering the norms of when people get married, have kids, etc. etc. it is pretty likely that these life changes will happen somewhere in this dicey decade.
Here is what I have been noticing out there among people who have a 5 in front of their age.
In your 50’s, your kids are off to college. Not yet grown but no longer at home. Or, they are off completely on their own, starting their own adult life. It’s a new phenomenon for you, to not have the school activities and busyness to occupy your every waking moment. So you find yourself in a bit of a pickle. What now? It’s too soon for grand kids who would potentially be providing all kinds of fun things to do. Do you find a hobby? Do you hang out with the other former soccer moms? Do you die your hair, buy a new wardrobe and join a cover band?
In your 50’s your body changes. Nuf said! (what happened to my beautiful strong nails and the ability to have hair longer than my chin line?)
In your 50’s you are still working, like A LOT! But you are later in your career. Do you still strive for promotions and climbing the corporate ladder? Do you learn all the latest technologies? Do you coast to retirement? Is it too late for a career change or is it the best time? Do you tell off your boss and revisit the cover band idea? Your kids are in college so taking a financial risk isn’t very feasible. But time is running out to “find your life’s purpose”.
In your 50’s your marriage changes. Kids are gone, the routine changes and there is a big space to fill. I can actually speak to this even though I’m not married. (my divorces happened in earlier decades) My parents split up the summer after I graduated from college. They were in their late 50’s. It probably should have happened years earlier.
With the kids gone, couples either rediscover their love for each other and enjoy a whole new, wonderful stage in their relationship, or they discover that the love they had for each other just doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe their marriage isn’t horrible but without the kids around, adequate just isn’t good enough any more. Statistics show that divorce for couples over 50 is on the rise. In 2014, people age 50 and above were twice as likely to go through a divorce than in 1990. *National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. Financial stress during these years can also take its toll. And some people just grow apart and decide they want to spend the last 30 years of their lives being happy.
Listen, I’m not saying that any of these scenarios will necessarily happen for you. The kids going off on their own can mean that you finally have the time to take up tennis again or learn to play the guitar. At work you can find your voice and really shine as an experienced leader, or strike out on your own and pursue your dreams. And whether your marriage stays together or not, you can spend the next few decades being really really happy!
The Struggle is Real
But please know that if you are experiencing any of these life events, you are not alone. The struggle is real. And there is help. I am connecting women who are going through what you are and together we will discover how to be ecstatically happy in your 50’s and beyond. If you interested in finding out more about how we do this, message me below.
In the mean time, enjoy every fabulous 50’s moment.